it has been a busy morning already. i was woken at some god-unearthly hour by the crowing of 2 chickens who were sold to me as 'ladies'. they have been building up to this pre dawn chorus for a couple of days, so i knew that i was in for trouble.

yesterday evening i phoned my 'chicken lady' ( chicken mandy) and she agreed to have the boys back and credit me with 2 ladies at a later date. so at 6.30 i grabbed the torch and the boxes and forayed up to the henhouse in my nightie and coat. the residents were somewhat surprised at their early visitor - but were, as all chickens when it is dark, as docile and biddable as a bag of feathers. i secured the boys in boxes and stashed them in the greenhouse. the girls breathed a sigh of relief and settled back to a lie-in.

at 8 am i loaded the boys into the car and was off up the lanes to re-home them. they were gratefully received by colin - mandy's husband - who weighed them in his hand and mentioned a good dinner! i have to harden my heart to what their fate will be. this is why i shall never be a true smallholder - i cannot kill surplus to requirement stock.

the garden is quiet and not so colourful without the boys but the girls are more relaxed - being jumped from behind when you are having a spot of breakfast was making them nervous.....hardly surprisingly. i would like to think that the boys were the reason that the girls are not laying - too frightened to sit still for long enough - but it could be just the time of year. we'll soon see.

it is the most beautiful day again. bright sun, dry and a bit nippy.

i'm working a late today. hope we have admitted a few more patients otherwise we'll be falling over each other to get to the jobs. not that i wish admission on anyone... but.... the time goes too slowly if we are quiet.

i am doing well on the 'using up my fabric scraps' for patchwork. the pile of scraps is slowly decreasing and the stack of made up pieces is growing. once i get them backed i shall have a stock of potential gifts for those moments when you need a present quickly.

i don't 'do' christmas but i like to have something around 'just in case'.

i am already 'over' the christmas shoppers in town. can't park anywhere after 9.30 am, supermarkets are heaving with mad women with overflowing trolleys.... the usual question - why? for just one day.....

i feel i am such a kill-joy but i cannot get all reved up about such a consumer-fest.the tv is impossible to enjoy for all the sexy adverts for the perfume that will transform you into a sensual being ( i've tried, i've tried) and the other ads that will turn you into an overweight couch potato.....

only a month before the shortest day and then we are on the countdown to spring and summer. i noticed the snowdrops peeking their shoots up yesterday.... life begins again....

ok, who ordered the snow?

talk about a bolt from the blue - there i was, having my pre-nights afternoon nap, when a cat put a very cold paw on me. i reached out to give a welcoming stroke and thought ' hello, that feels a bit solid for rain drops'. looking outside confirmed what william was telling me - lots of the white stuff. it was a rather slow and slippery drive into work. of course, none of our poll tax had been converted into grit for the roads, so there were a lot of 'caught out' drivers doing exciting things in the middle of the back roads.

on monday, the chickens thought the best thing to do was to stay in bed apart from forays to the feeders - sensible things. i too slept after my night and woke to find it was all over.......... just rain. the cats have redecorated every flat surface with footprints (my main bug-bear when it comes to cats) so i am due to perform a massive re-polishing this afternoon. i do not know why i stress so much about it coz polishing is such a thankless task - but it is therapeutic after nights and i do like to see it all looking clean when the lamps go on in the evening.

the shoot up the back of me released their pheasants a while back and they have discovered that my garden is a free for all when it comes to food - they do every year!. as a consequence i am treated to a lawn full of birds every day. this year there are some amazing colours. some of the pheasants are totally blue/black with no neck rings - i will try and photograph one the next time the sun shines - they are very exotic-looking and the lady birds seem to find them strangely attractive! one year we had a selection of pure white poults, they were gorgeous. someone told me that it is considered unlucky to shoot a white pheasant so i was hoping they would survive and breed more of the same - but i've not seen another since that year. perhaps it was a genetic throwback that did not survive further breeding - either that or the fox was not so particular or superstitious.

having not heard from alex by 13.00 i gave his mobile a ring. what a relief to hear his voice. it was only a brief 'hi - r u ok' call. he will facebook me as soon as he gets home. sounds like he had a nightmare journey though. he mentioned someone dying on the plane, re-routing due to death and bad weather (4 times) AND they've lost his luggage! he missed his internal flight due to the delays and has had to hire a car to drive himself home from auckland (4 hour drive). he sounded very OTT - i bet he is 'wired'.

i'll get the full story shortly. main thing is that he is alive and ok - i doubt he feels 'well'. good job he is not due back at work for a few days, he will need that time to sort things, and his body.

i took this picture about 3 weeks ago. things look very different this morning. bare trees , grey skies and a distinct lack of colour.

the wild birds are having a feeding frenzy at the bird tables, the chickens are still in bed and i am disinclined to do much at all.

i had a fabulous day in the garden yesterday. sorting out the sheds, moving stuff around trying to make room for the stuff that needs to be stored overwinter. my neighbours on the farm (only 2 left since julia died) were away last night so i have been looking after their chickens and dogs. the dogs (2 german shepherds) and i went for a lovely long walk around the farm yesterday afternoon - they may not get such a good walk this morning. mind you, once i'm kitted up in the waterproofs and outside i always feel much better that when i stare out of the window at the rain. i really do not mind walking in the rain once i get going.

my aga is well covered in cats - see above. henry has the best place this morning. this seat is warm-but not too warm, just right for an hour or so before it becomes 'the hot seat' and has to be vaccated.

i am sitting at this computer waiting to receive a 'facebook' from alex letting me know that he, and his luggage, have arrived home safely. it seems like forever ago that i said my goodbyes at birmingham airport. if all goes to plan, i shall be off to nz for a holiday in 12 weeks time. i have not booked my ticket yet coz my mum is getting the details ,from her friend, of a company that flies you to nz in business class for economy money! it all sounds too good to be true but mum's friend has actually done the journey and it was exactly that - economy fare but business class seats. i bet it is an age thing - over 65's only or something. still it is worth waiting to find out the details.

during one of my 'sort outs' indoors i came across all of my vinyl LP records. i decided that i needed the space they were in so vowed to sell them on to a dealer/collector. then, as i was walking around town, i saw a shop selling turntables in a wooden casing.(you may have seen them in the 'give away' bits that fall out of weekend newspapers) the system also has fm/am radio, a tape player and a cd player. the best thing was the price. in the 'give aways' they are usually about 150 notes and this shop had them for 50. a bargain? i hoped so.......

yes, i treated myself. lugged all the albums back indoors from the shed and set off down memory lane. the sound quality is fine and it plays even the most scratched vinyl - just the odd skip and jump. i have been astounded by the memories that have been re-awakened. i am so glad that i didn't get rid of them. someone at work said that they may be worth some money these days coz vinyl is 'coming back' - lets hope so. they can be my emergency fund.

lord, it is nearly 9 am and i'm not dressed - time to get those dogs walked. i'll have to check on alex later - he may have been delayed.

it was a very hard frost last night!

had a call from one of my closest friends last evening. she has been recalled for investigations following her mamogram. she goes on monday. she is terrified. we both work at the hospice and as a consequence our minds tend to make the leap from possible diagnosis to death with nothing inbetween.

she has spoken with other colleagues who have been down this road and has gained good support from them - but how can you prepare for what may well happen.... impossible. the fact that we both attended julia's funeral 2 weeks ago is not lost on either of us. please no - not veronica as well............. i do not know how i will be if i loose her too. sounds selfish - but i love these people.

still, veronica says that if the diagnosis is positive, she is going to be really selfish and do all the things she wants to do and sod the rest. she would love to go to nz with her son, so i have volunteered to show her around......... if necessary we will cram 20 years into the blink of an eye.

i am going to keep everything crossed for a 'mistake' in the mamogram - they do err on the side of caution (thank goodness) so there is plenty of hope.

i'm off to de-frost the chicken's water coz i bet it is frozen solid. then i shall have to spend time defrosting my hands - always a painful experience.

they have been apple collecting since it got light- i do not envy them today.................

the temperature has just crept above '0' on the outside thermometer. we have the first 'real' frost of this winter - white out !

catz are glued to the aga. their bladders must be to bursting point but they took a look at outside and scuttled back to the warmth.

plucking up the courage to have a bath this morning will take some doing. that longing for central heating is back again - especially when the replacement gas for the super ser has gone up £2 in the last two weeks!

it will soon get to the stage when i cannot afford to live in this country at all. having got all the possessions i need (luckily) it costs me all my wages for just the basic things in life. i know i keep 4 cats and the chickens - but hey, i don't smoke, go out to cinema, go for meals, a bottle of wine lasts me a week, i'm not a good cook and food doesn't interest me - so my animals are my company and my friends. i do not know how people manage if they have kids these days.......... mind you, they probably have a better job that pays more than nursing.....

i can think of many reasons not to go to nz, but the lower cost of living is a BIG draw right now.

last full day with alex. tomorrow will be all packing and waiting for it to be time to go to the airport. not looking forward to the 'goodbyes' - i shall be in bits. i'll hold it together for the drive home - then i'll hit the wine ( this bottle will not last the week)

only two and a half more days before my son returns to new zealand. the time has gone so quickly. i shall miss him more than usual - just becoz i have had him near for a while. i keep telling myself that it is only12 weeks until i see him again, when i go to nz for my annual visit.
he is returning with twice as much stuff as he arrived with - plus he has a box of 'heavy' things that will go to nz as an overland/oversea package.
he says he has had a valuable time. lots of talking, lots of visiting and lots of closure. coming back, for the first time in 4 years, has confirmed to him that he made the right move and that he definitely would not want to live back in the uk ( good job really coz i rely on his hospitality to reduce my holiday costs when over there)
i sense he is ready to go back - he says he is 'visited out' and could do with life returning to the boring old routines............
he is graceful enough to say that the only things he will miss about the uk are the family members - oh, and the cheap dvd's......................

he is not looking forward to the long haul back - but then, who does relish 30 hours in a steel tube with no choice of travelling companion..... i try to go when the planes are not so full and you can, sometimes, spread out and get 2 seats to yourself. that is all i need to curl up and i am off to sleep ( all be it with the help of temazepam and alcohol). my philosophy is to sleep for the majority of the journey. i hate sitting still at the best of times and to be forced to do it is 10 times worse. i always take two books - both of which loose their appeal the minute we take off. i find the in-flight movies boring after about an hour and a half........ but then i'm not a film watcher either. even my mp3 music selection (carefully chosen in the weeks before) seems dull and 'samey'. you can gather - i am not a good candidate for long haul..... i'm glad i don't have to sit next to me...... i'm not good at other people's life stories either. and as for kids...... they should be banned from all flights - period!

lucky alex, he is going back to spring and summer......... it is 3.30 pm here and i have the curtains drawn and the desk light on........... also have a lovely bottle of red wine open and breathing by the aga. should be at the right temperature in about an hours time................. just in time to sit and watch 'scrubs' yes, i know that is sad - but alex has 'got me into' watching it and now that i 'know' the characters i find myself enjoying the whole thing. i still can't see the attraction of 'friends' and i would not change my diary so as not to miss an episode - but , all in all, it passes the time harmlessly.